Title: Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus

Date: 06.01.2006

Genre: Third-person action/shooter

Platform: PlayStation 2

Developer: Square Enix

Publisher: Square Enix

Fantastically Fractured Fantasy

It’s funny how time changes everything; even our most cherished memories. Years ago, had anyone broached the subject of Square’s pivotal masterpiece, Final Fantasy 7, most gamers-myself among them-would extol it with praise and affection, citing it as possibly the best RPG ever, or at the very least terribly influential and groundbreaking, to say the least. Today however, especially in light of Square’s mission to exploit any and every one of its top grossing franchises (citing `fan service’ as the motivation rather than its own financial blunders), Final Fantasy VII is quickly becoming a stale, pedestrian game that lacks anything even remotely able to float its boat in today’s market. This wouldn’t be a problem, of course, were there not an entire team of staff members devoted to creating spin-off products based on said game.

Starting with the pitiful FOMA based mobile game, Before Crisis, Square then followed it up with Advent Children, an all FMV movie that basically rehashed the original game’s plot but took out any and all character development and player (viewer) experiences opting instead for dull action sequences and flat out fan-service. Dirge of Cerberus (DoC) represents the third entry into this Compilation and yet, despite the extensive development period associated with it, proves to be as mediocre and unfulfilling as seemingly all of Square’s modern products. I famously walked out on the demo at last year’s Square Enix Party expo, and found it just as disappointing at the Tokyo Game Show…hardly to my surprise, the final product is just as bad.

Disappointing Drab Dungeons

`Did Final Fantasy 7 actually have a fantastic story, or was it merely an illusion fostered by the dynamic cut-scenes?` I’ve frequently debated this question, finally arriving at the answer after watching Advent Children: the latter is true. Putting aside the novelty of gaming’s first `bad ass` villain (Sephiroth), there is very little to praise FFVII for. Unsurprisingly, tacking on an all new side-story to the game (set after AC’s ending) proves of little aid to the franchise overall, especially because we’re basically dealing with a modified Final Fantasy X-2 plot here. In a nutshell, two opposing parties are fighting a war with each other in the post-Meteor world and Vincent plays right into the mess.

FF7’s real claim to fame was, let’s be honest here, graphical. It would follow that any and all products spawned from it would follow suit yet oddly enough, DoC leaves some major room for improvement. Putting aside for a moment the fact that the computers used to render Advent Children were also used to create FMV for this game (meaning that it looks ‘next generation’), the in-game graphics truly look pitiful in comparison. While I realize the major hardware limitations fostered by the aging Playstation 2, it remains to be said that Vincent Valentine’s solo-adventure is hardly going to provide the kick-in-the-pants that Final Fantasy 7 did. Dare I even point out that Kingdom Hearts 2 looks far better, in no small way because of the diverse colour schemes and areas.

Dirge of Cerberus is, for the most part, a dark, drab game with generic and repetitive environments. Despite the fact that the entire adventure takes place in the world of Final Fantasy 7, it is truly difficult to notice any similarities whatsoever. Even the infamous Nivelheim Reactor (and the town’s equally memorable mansion) are unrecognisable and heavily modified. It truly makes one consider just what the rumoured Final Fantasy 7 PS3 remake will actually amount to be.

Aya’s Makeover (in Goth Chic)

For all intents and purposes, DoC is in fact, the long forgotten vaporware known as Parasite Eve 3. Take the gameplay engine from Aya Brea’s second adventure and perform some minor tweaks here and there; you more or less have this so-called ‘new’ game. In the end however, the blonde bombshell’s mitochondrion misadventures proved to be not only more entertaining but far more competent. Gameplay in DoC is terribly simplistic: taking up the role of Vincent Valentine, FF7’s resident vampire wannabe, you essentially run through a linear FPS game completing simplistic missions and dispatching any foes that wander your way. Occasionally you can play as other characters (such as Cait Sith sans his moogle) however these elements are often less realised than the main character’s quest and even more annoying. At the end of each stage, the game totals up your performance, assigns a score, then lets you decide what to do: either allocate the earned experience points to Vincent’s status parameters or else convert it to a mass chunk of Gill.

Missions are, as hinted, terribly basic and almost impossible to fail. Stealth endeavors are just for show, protecting innocents for amusement…while the game is hardly a push over (primarily because of the control scheme) the fact that the actual content is rather easy with only some boss fights becoming problematic hardly means you’re in for a worthy challenge. It’s just a bit frustrating really, given that there was a real chance for the game to shine in this department but, possibly because of Square’s blatant unfamiliarity with FPS (and likewise, theoretically its fans as well) they cut corners in an attempt to dumb everything down.

If there is one thing the game actually excels at, it’s providing a thoroughly customizable weapon equipment system. While Vincent begins with only his trademark ‘Cerberus’ firearm, throughout the game you will find alter parts, accessories, scopes, chains, Materia (magic), and all new guns altogether. You can mix and match any and all of the parts with most all of the guns to create uber weapons. In addition, frequenting the game’s various shops-located inside out of place jukeboxes-allows you to upgrade specs and purchase various goods with the Gil (money) randomly dropped by defeated foes. Truth be told, if you played Biohazard 4, everything here will be old news.

Static and Stagnant

One of the major problems with the gameplay-and this goes back to my very first experience with the original demo-is that the environments are horrifically stale. As in ‘The Bouncer’ stale. Scattered everywhere are objects that according to modern physics should be affected by the force of a bullet yet, for reasons unknown, aren’t. Glasses, crates, papers, grates…you name it yet you can’t break it. It goes without saying that the actual exploration sense of the game is non-existent as a result, because you aren’t encouraged to do anything out-of-the-ordinary, or even be creative. Once and a while the game will throw out a generic ‘ITEM BOX’ crate which you can destroy, or a generic ‘EXPLOSIVE BARREL’ that will send nearby enemies flying should you damage it, but its safe to feel confident that 99.9% of everything else you see is there for show only. I’m sorry, but in this day and age, there is absolutely no excuse for this kind of programming incompetence whatsoever. If Hideo Kojima could get Metal Gear Solid 2 running while the PS2 was still a new console, there is no reason Square can get away with this nonsense in a 2006 release.

Beyond that we have the sheer repetitiveness of the areas themselves. While it’s safe to say each chapter’s local features a distinctive look separating it from the last one, after just two minutes in any given environment, you will have seen the extent of the ‘diversity’ that comprises the area in total: none. Not since the sub-par PS2 Castlevania games have I encountered such generic places which obviously came straight out of a level-editor template rather than any kind of painstaking labour. Unfortunately this issue is hardly offset by other issues:

By far the largest deficiency in the gameplay department has to be the fun factor. While the first stage or two proves more-or-less entertaining, things quickly take a turn for the worst when you progress through the game and wind up fighting the exact same enemies, ad-nausea. So annoying and repetitive is the game that by the fourth or fifth stage you may actually question the decision to keep playing out of gross aggravation with dispatching grunt soldiers. Part of the fun with real FPS games is the creative monster assortment and their otherworldly nature. DoC however, shows just what would happen if games like Doom, Quake, Unreal, Halo (etc) were peppered with pathetic human enemies that do literally nothing but shoot at you incessantly.

Finally, it’s necessary to point out that any and all of the ‘stylish action’ which transpires throughout the game pertains exclusively to cut scenes, all of which are non-interactive. Perhaps Biohazard 4 spoiled me, but what is so wrong with wanting some element-even at least a trivial button press-of control over what you’re watching on screen. It’s damn time Square stops with the incessant cut scenes and actually gets some kind of programming integrity, figuring out that maybe we gamers would actually like to have some input into what transpires; who gives a crap about watching other people do things that defy logic? We watch movies for that kind of removed entertainment, yet ideally play games for a vicarious alternative…in theory.

Controller Conundrum

The controls are just plain awful. To be fair, the game does allow for a USB keyboard and mouse input (mainly because of the PlayOnline accessibility) however for the sake of this review, I will obviously curtail the rhetoric to Sony’s PS2 Dual Shock controller. While the game is more-or-less a FPS, there are occasional bouts of gimped acts of ‘action platforming’ and to say the very least, it does not mesh well with the control scheme. To attack an enemy with your projectile weapons, you need to first press the R1 button to enter ‘FPS Mode’, then target and press said button again to shoot. Of course there is no auto-lock on which makes most everything incredibly difficult…as does the manner in which Vincent crawls while moving in target mode. The problem is all the more noticeable when in sniper mode; despite a direct line of sight at an enemy’s corpse-to-be, our hero misses some 90% of the time by either over or undershooting the target. Do normal FPS games have a lock-on feature? Of course not, but then again normal FPS games are made by competent developers who actually understand how to make these games work in the first place.

In addition to gunplay, there is a trivial (read: pointless) melee attack option as well. Despite the fact that most every opponent you face packs heat, should you desire (and if you can get close enough to them), pressing the X Button performs a series of punches and kicks, combos in the end with rapid chaining of presses. Melee attacks can be useful at times however, namely when using a ‘Limit Break’ wherein Vincent transforms into one of his alter-ego creature forms and gains an incredible power boost (as well as a completely refilled life bar). For those wondering, magic use is terribly simplistic (basically a charged attack burst) and accumulated via walking over ‘Draw Points’ scattered throughout each environment. And let’s not forget about the dodge/roll command that would actually be useful if Vincent didn’t automatically kneel after the maneuver thus making real evasion quite impossible.

The final element of this control conundrum lies in the truly pathetic camera operation. While the player has control of both vertical and horizontal lines, the 360-degree scheme just does not lend itself well to the PS2 controller. A computer’s mouse, no problem, but the Dual Shock interface is just plain wretched. Chances are you will frequently get mauled by common enemies just trying to target them, something that is once again a main issue because of a lack of any kind of a lock-on reticule. Many FPS veterans vehemently protest that the genre is not suited for console games at all (in light of the controller) and with DoC, even newbies will understand why.

The only aspect of the defunct control scheme that actually does deserve praising is the real-time item system. All consumable items obtained during gameplay are usable with a simple touch; pressing Left on the cross-pad cycles through the various products, and pressing Right uses one. There are, of course, occasional fits of ‘accidental wasting’ when hitting Right by mistake and wasting a valuable item.

Playing Online…Possibly

Speaking of PlayOnline, all those interested will be happy (or in most cases, infuriated) to know that you must have a PS2 HDD in order to get anywhere. Furthermore, you must have the PlayOnline viewer (i.e. Final Fantasy XI) installed. While I had no interest in online fragging whatsoever, the utter thought of digging out my fat-ass, old PS2 console and bulky HDD just to have ‘fun’ in a multiplayer situation totally killed and all buzz the potential might have offered. I’m sorry Square, but this is an absurd requirement given that most people-in Japan OR elsewhere-do not own the defunct PS2 HDD and, especially now, probably don’t even have a compatible PS2 machine having sacrificed its hideous proportions for the slim PStwo. Why the online segment can’t run off the DVD is a true mystery, to say the least. And need I mention the pay-to-play monthly fee involved with the whole process; as if the cost of this overpriced nonsense isn’t bad enough.

Sorrowful Sounds

Music for this game, is a hit-or-miss issue. Some tracks in the score are fitting whereas others are generic filler that you will grow tired of before they even cycle over…something that will happen quite a lot given the sheer brevity of each track. While I infamously labeled Nobou Uematsu a hack some weeks ago, let it not be said that even his modern ‘ability’ (or as I feel, a glaring lack of) would see a far more sufficient musical score. It’s hilarious to see the game’s OST ranked so highly on pre-order charts here in Tokyo, yet as with the game itself-it seems to be more fanboy based rather than indicative of any quality (especially given the pre-order date pre-dating the actual game release by some weeks).

Voice acting is, for the most part, equally generic. Considering that none of the returning characters had voices to begin with, one might expect that anything sufficient would be satisfactory. All the more so given that here in Japan, otaku worship voice actors with as much devotion and admiration as anything else and hence the talent has to be *good* for the actor’s career to float. It remains to be seen if the pending English voice acting will offer anything superior, however given the pointless delays associated with foreign territory releases of Advent Children, even groundwork establishments remain in the air.

Victim Vincent

It seems that Square truly wanted to make a FPS game but, having no clue what said genre entails, threw a bunch of random elements into a computer and assumed the product was acceptable in that, even if the game stunk, the fanboys and whatnot would still buy it. While DoC is hardly an awful game, it is by no means good and more importantly, by no means a legitimate product of a game studio as talented as this one. I fail to believe the same company that put out Kingdom Hearts 2 not even a month ago could have such random levels of quality assurance as to let this stinker out. Who at Square had the idiotic notion of crafting a FFVII spin-off centred around the premise of a FPS? Was this just some lame-ass attempt for Square to get its collective hands wet in the genre and used a sure-sell franchise to assure sales of a broken game?

Perhaps its just my jaded opinion, but DoC is about as defunct as the Loveless advertisements scattered throughout most of the environments (the damn thing is STILL playing all these years later?!) and, worse yet, a painful reminder that Final Fantasy 7 simply does not hold the same leverage it did circa 1997. As far as I’m concerned, there was a valid reason Final Fantasy games encompassed only one product: because there was no real need for any kind of side story given the limited scope and dimensions of the actual game. We were never dealing with a product of near-unlimited potential (see Chrono Cross/Trigger, Xenogears) but instead a one-shot deal with a concise, compact story. Tacking on all this extra junk years later just doesn’t work, primarily because there are only so many ways to rehash the exact same nonsense we ALL experienced almost a decade ago. Because really now…just how much is there to tell about a one-dimensional character like Valentine or the world he lived in?

Make no mistake about it: Square fanboys will eat this game up, claiming it to be the best thing ever; a milestone in production values and computer programming all because of the name stuck on the box. Hell, they managed to do it with Drag-on Dragoon no less, a game FAR worse off than this one. Truth be told however, were this stinker produced by any other company, and made no use of a once-respected license whatsoever, it would be overstocked, and sitting in bargain bins just days after release, and then only purchased by Xbox deprived gamers who need someway to get a FPS fix. When even the incestuous Japanese gaming publications offer average scores for a Square game, it’s a glaring sign that something is up. With the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII arguably 0/3 now, it seems quite probable the hush-hush PSP sell-out will fail to live up to any semblance of expectations whatsoever. Square? Just leave well enough alone, or else stop with the cash-in crap and just remake the damn original already. DoC indeed: Depiction of Crap.

Game Score

6.2

Reviewed By: Ashley Winchester